MOTHERHOOD and HAIR CLIPS

Some days I go about my normal routine and don’t realize how much I really AM becoming a mother or a wife.
I have been married for 3 years in December and I feel like I am still trying to figure out how this whole wife thing works…
not to mention the whole MOTHER thing…
 *****
The other day I made a delicious batch of homemade french bread, some carrot cake cupcakes, chicken pot pie and chocolate chip cookies. (OK within a 48 hour period)
I don’t think I realize how much it means to my husband for me to bake and cook until I actually do it!
No one is perfect and MAN I know I have my flaws but the whole cooking thing is so hard for me!
I am MORE than happy with a salad and banana for dinner so why wouldn’t Jeff be too?
 He has been so patient with me…
he was so used to homemade breakfast, lunch and dinner when he was growing up.
{His mother is literally the BEST cook around!}
And although I LIKE to bake and don’t do it as much as I should.
I really am trying to be better…
it’s times like those when I still feel like a “wife in training”…
Jeff came in while I was cooking and couldn’t believe his EYES! 
I had thrown on a cardigan…pulled my hair back with a clip and tied an apron around my waist!
I REALLY felt like a wife at that moment…
Before I would have been worried my hair would kink while in the clip…so I would have just worn it down and suffered through the strands of hair all over my face while preparing dinner…
instead I wore the clip ALL night…even when family friends came over…
Not only am a letting little things like kinked hair go…but now 90% of my day feels like a circus act!
Like trying to stir the sauce with one hand while holding one cupboard closed with one foot and grabbing little Reagan with the other hand!
It’s the little things you think you are SO OCD about but then realize they don’t matter…
I would have NEVER thought I would be OK with throwing my Tupperware all over the kitchen floor just so I can entertain her for another 2 minutes until daddy comes home!
 But it’s these simple moments that really make me realize that maybe I’m doing an OK job…
maybe…even though Reagan’s lunch is still all over the kitchen floor…it’s OK to leave the mess and go to the park instead…
OH…who am I kidding…I definitely HAVE NOT gotten to that point yet…
you’re talking to ME here…I still sweep and mop the kitchen at least 3 times and vacuum the house at least once a day BUT…
the important thing is that I am TRYING to be better…
I am trying to be a more laid back mother…
the kind that cares more about what she is making for dinner and not about what to clean next!
I think one day I will find my medium…
my place where I say…
“Hey…I think I have things figured out!”
and then my kids will be toddlers then teenagers and I will be right back to not knowing what the crap I’m doing!
BUT that’s OK!
Because that’s MOTHERHOOD!
and
I wouldn’t have my life…
ANY OTHER WAY!
XOXO
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