After indulging in all the sugar and holiday treats these last couple weeks (yes, I did say weeks) I was feeling frustrated, sluggish, and disappointed in myself. Until I busted out the “12 Days of Christmas” WOD with my sister yesterday! (look the workout up, it’s a spicy one) Before that workout, I wasn’t being nice to my body. Not just because I indulged in some holiday goodies, but because I was body shaming myself! I was beating myself up over everything I ate, saying mean things in my head, and looking in the mirror negatively back at myself. My parents gym has mirrors in it, so while I was doing the WOD I could see myself. This isn’t normal for me. CrossFit gyms don’t usually have mirrors and I don’t often watch myself workout. But today was different. And I don’t think it was a coincidence. I found myself getting emotional over the person I saw. The person looking back at me wasn’t the person I had been envisioning in my head all week. The strong woman who was doing pull ups and jumping over boxes and lifting heavy weight. That was me! That IS me! That is who I am now!
Although it’s been a couple years since I’ve lost the majority of my weight, I still find myself feeling and thinking that I look like the old me. I guilt myself. I push myself into my subconscious mind and find the insecurities and hesitations and guilt that I often felt back when I was overweight. Those exact feelings right there are the MAIN ingredients to destroy your fitness journey. and dare I say… your soul! #forreal
Some days, I paralyze myself from the fear I feel of possibly gaining that weight back. Or not being able to maintain the way I look now. Time to stop those fears and embrace the woman I have become.
It’s pretty ballsy of me to admit those feelings, since those feelings are exactly what I preach to my readers to avoid. But, we all know we feel them. I once had this feeling described to me as phantom pain. To feel or act or mentally visualize something that was once there, that isn’t anymore. A complete mental head game. And I am sick of that game!
How about we work on it together, because guess what!
It’s not about the holiday treats. Or the birthday cake. Or the freakin rolls at dinner!
EAT THE ROLLS AT DINNER
It’s about your fingers, your toes, your hands, and feet, and arms, legs, back, chest, head, heart, and soul!
THAT is what this is about.
We are alive. And most of us will get to live tomorrow too.
SO, let’s cut the bull crap and remember what this journey is really about.
It’s about bettering those BEAUTIFUL bodies we have. Because, they really are beautiful.
No more mental head games.
GET OUT OF THAT HEAD!
Focus on being PRESENT.
Living CONSCIOUSLY in the HERE AND NOW!
Sure, learn from the past.
But if you can’t get OVER the past and what you WERE…don’t look back!
If you constantly tell yourself, “I will never be fat again!”
Guess what you are telling yourself or making yourself believe?
You will get fat again.
Let’s change our thoughts. Let’s change the way we speak to our souls!
“I WILL STAY HEALTHY”
“I WILL LOVE MY BODY”
“I WILL CONQUER THIS WORKOUT”
“I AM BEAUTIFUL, STRONG, AND LEAN!”
One day, you will believe in yourself long enough to actually believe what you are saying.
Even AFTER eating all those holiday treats!
I hope you can do that same.
ENJOY your New Years Ever tomorrow
XOXO